The Swan

A poem about female facial mutilation as performed regularly on TV makeover shows such as 'The Swan', a US programme in which a group of 'contestants' are given extreme makeovers before being judged by a panel of 'experts'.

Take one over-worked, over-weight and over-wrought housewife.

Under-loved by hubbie and an average of 3 kids.

Ensure:

- low levels of self-love

- wobbly bottom confidence

- a gratitude so deep she'll agree to all your terms and conditions:

'Sign on the line and we'll take care of all your lines'

Wrinkles- filled. Check

Teeth-porcelained. Check

Lips- trout-pouted

Hair- extended

Nails faked, skin-caked.

Check, check, check

Now they're wearing masks I can see straight through-

Layer upon layer.

Keeping reality out.

Keeping reality in.

From woman to swan in 100 painful, bloody steps.